Thursday, March 30, 2006


Every child has a "item". Calvin had hobbs, Christopher Robin had pooh.

Sarah has Starcoke.

Starcoke, is HER doll. Goes places with her. We won it 9 months ago down in WIld Wood NJ, its a precious moments 9 or 12 inch doll. She didnt do much with it till just recently. Now its HER doll. Goes everywhere, plays with her, and all others.

Sarah named it all by herself. As she puts it "her name is starcoke. Stars because she's beuatiful like the stars, and coke 'cause thats what daddy drinks."

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Trouble brewing

Usually, when Sarah poops, its been taking a while. So we've been taking to reading a story to her to pass the time.

Today, when mommy was gone, Sarah discovered the book rack. She found something that caught her eye.

"daddy, what's that book?"

"that's Calvin and Hobbs dear."

"read it to me"

And so daddy read her Calvin and Hobbs, which she now enjoys. And thinks calvins very funny.....Oh boy.

Oh and did I ever mention I let Sarah drive the car? Only down the driveway, since my car doesn't have a airbag, its all good. She does very well, hasn't hit anything. Yet.

Yes yes, she does it from my lap......What, you didn't think I let her drive by herself, did you?

Monday, March 27, 2006

Note to self, stop talking.

A big THANK YOU to a ceratin young lady sercetly known as "idaho". I got a lovely small package with home made jam, a grass head growing kit for sarah(which see is excited to do) and peanut butter oreos.

So when the Mrs and sarah opened it, kim asked me "why oreos?"

My response was" its an inside joke, she likes oreos but it makes her ass fat. Ok maybe not so fat. Not that I've seen her butt....uhm, I'll stop talking now....."

Saturday, March 25, 2006

My child is TOO smart

For her own good.

Never thought you would hear a parent say that, did you? But its true, she's too smart for her age.

Let me explain:

Putting aside the fact she can use a computer, and when I say use a computer, if its on, or even in sleep mode, she can get it up and running, find the programs she wants with the mouse, double click, pull IM up and start talkiing to someome, or use smiles. Now granted her converstations are either by typing, correctly, sarah, mommy, daddy, and the rest gibberish, but give her another, say week, she's have more words down. Or she'll just use smilies.

Putting that aside, she can spell. You parents know what I'm talking about, when you use code or spell words so kids cant understand what your saying.

No, not with sarah. We were doing that, spelling words($2 movies had Curious George, which she loves the books), and she blurts out after our spelling converstation, "Curious george movie? I LOVE that movie. I love curious george, can we see it?"

My wife looks at me in teh car and asked how did she know what we were talking about. My ONLY response was "I guess she can spell. at Three. Guess we're in trouble."

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Another sarah moment

Sarah is upstairs, mommy is downstairs.

"Mommy, come get me and help me down."

"I'll be right there, Mommy wouldnt forget you and leave you behind."

"Yes you would, mommy. You just did."

I almost fell off the toliet laughing....

Gotta have faith

Alright: a nice 2500pt battle DA vs Sisters, Seek & Destroy Omega level.

Forces arrayed:
Commander in terminator armor w/ lightning clawscommand squad of terminators w/ 2 assulat cannons
Chaplin w/ jumppack.
2 drop pod dreads w/ assualt cannon
2 8 man tactical squads w/ plasmagun, Hbolter, Pfist vet
2 8 man tactical squads w/ plasmagun, missle launcher, Pfist vet
2 6 man assualt squads, Pfist vet
2 land speeder tornados
6 man dev w/ 4Hbolters
6 man dev squad with 3 missle launchers
Prediator destructor, autocannon 2 Hbolters.

cannoness, blessed weapon and toys
cannoness, evisorator and toys(jumppacks, inferno pistol, etc)
5 celestians w/ MM
2 16 man sister squads, vet w/ evisorator and book and BP
3 10 man sister squads, vet w/ bolter and book in rhinos.
2 8 man serpahim squads, 2 flamers, vet with book and plasmapistol and CCW
1 7 man serpahim squad, 2 inferno pistols, vet with book and PP & CCW
2 exorcists
ret squad, 7 men, 4 Hbolters, vet with bolter and book.

Village set up. Each corner had a forest, the rest had village buildings, all lvl 3, 10 or so setup like a village.
Mission: seek and destroy, kill each other. 15" deployment, no unit withinn 24" of the other. Omega level, so infantry on the table, everything else in reserve.

Hbolter rets on the far right in the woods, celestians to the right ready to move folward. to the left is a 16 man unit, to the left of them is the other 16 man unit.
DA: my deployment forced him to have only 2 tact units(w/ Hbolters) deployed back, across from teh center 16 man unit. The devs and other 2 tactical squads where all the way to his right(my left) with none of them having LOS to anything, due to the village.

Sisters won the roll to go first. We took it. Of course there were 3 tie rolls of 5,5 then 5,5 then 5,5 then I won with 6,4.

Sister, Turn 1
Due to concealment, nothing really to shoot, so the 16 man sister units move folward. The celestians move folward. Thats it.

DA, Turn 1
His entire right flank has no LOS, so they do nothing. The 2 center units shooting combine to kill 2 sisters. Yea.

Sisters, Turn 2
Reserves. Yea! I get 1 exorcist, 2 serpahim squads(no inferno pistols) the blessed weapon cannoness. Everything moves in on the Retributor side(why give him shots?). Teh sister squads move up again, as do the celestians, the cannoness jumps in all the way right, the serpahimm units to the left of the retributor squads. The exorcist behind teh serpahim.
Not much shoooting. Exorcist rolls 1 shot, nothing there.

DA, Turn 2
He gets 2 assualt squads, and teh chaplin, and a dreadnaught and predator. The chaplin and one squad jump in right across from teh cannoness. The other one behind them. The dread drops behind teh center 16 man unit. yum.
He decides to move up the Hbolter Devs to get LOS to SOMETHING.
Shooting sees couple more sisters die. Ok more than half. With the book, no one cares. easly pass LD test. Predator is ineffective.

Sisters, Turn 3
serpahim unit, exorcist, 2 sister squads in rhinos, cannoness comes in. They all come in the center behind the dread, teh rhinos all teh way left to sneak attack, but hide behind buildings.
Celstains move up to tempt the champlin, the one 16 man unit moves right to help with the chaplin. The seraphim moves around to counter assualt. The center 16 man unit moves back with its evisorator. The cannnoness and seraphim w/ inferno pistols move behind teh dread, as does the exorcist. The bless weapon cannoness moves up to deal with the chpalin, maybe.
Shooting: All but the Pfist and chaplin die.(rets failed a act of faith test) The dread dies, easily. The predator dies, easily.

DA, Turn 3
Terminators arrive, land great due to teleport homer with Chaplin. Right next to the celestians. The chaplin moves past the celestians to the 16 man unit. The other assualt squad moves up and right.
center unit is reduced to 4 girls. Celestians are erased by terminators. Devs shoot the center serpahim, and due to LOS, kill both inferno pistols.
Assualt: Chaplin and assualt marine charge into squad. Many die, but again, due to the book, no one care.

Sisters, Turn 4
Nothing comes in.
Rhino moves up left side, and dumps out in front of the Dev w/ Hbolters. Seraphim move up behind the rhino.
On teh right, rhino moves up centerish. Seraphim move up, one in front of teh terminators, one in front of the assulat squad. The cannoness moves close to the terminators. Teh 4 man sister squad moves to the chaplin combat.
We erase the assualty squad. All the terminators die, except the commander, and sadly again teh exorcist petters out.
In ther center and left, we erase the Hbolter Devs, between teh siter squad and exorcist.
AssualtSo the cannoness goes and handles it. With a bit of help from the acts of faith, we ignore all wounds due to Invulerable 2+, and deal out a wound.
More sisters die, but we dont care due to the book. We are now below 7 sisters at this point, so next close combat, we can use SOTM

DA, Turn 4
Landspeeders arrive. Otehr dread arrives, and drops behind the serpahim and rhino on the left.
He moves up one center squad, to get to grips with the serpahim. Over on other side, another squad moves up to deal with the rhino sisters.
Shooting sees all but 2 sisters die, but they hold(kennyed there). The dread reduces teh serpahim to 3, but they dont care. landspeeder shooting ineffective, no 6's and armor saves easily made
Assualt sees SOTM on the chaplin and the cannoness. Again, cannoness almost doesnt care(takes a wound)but deal s one back. and the center sisters only lose 2 sisters due to fail armor rolls. FINALLY kill the Pfist assualt marine(I apparantly had a faulty evisorator). thoise last 2 rhino sisters die.

Sisters, Turn 5
Last rhino arrives. Yea.
Movement sees the right side rhino move up to the tactical squad that moved up, and the serpahim to the other side. The other seraphim squad moved up to the other tactical squad in the center to deal with it. The center cannoness moved up to the dreadnaught, the seraphim jumped over the rhino to deal some vengence. Center 3 man sister squad moved to the chaplin mess.
Shooting sees the moved up tactical squad erased. Overkill on the back tactical squad(center) sees the Pfist die as well as half the squad. The cannoness only blows a weapon off the dread, which we take the Pfist. Exocist fires a volley of 5 and 2 hits each sees one crash down, one immobile and stunned.
The 3 man seraphim squad shoots the marines left, and kills one.
Serpahim charge on the left. The small sister sqaud charges into the chaplin. A failed SOTM on the cannoess plus dealing no wounds means one dead cannoness with the commander. he consolidates towards the seraphim. Chaplin earses smaller sister squad, but due to the book, no one cared.
Cannoness only stuns the dread. Teh seraphim with a bit of help dont win combat, but with the book, dont care either.

DA Turn 5,
No much left, he moves another tactial squad up left to deal with the seraphim. He moves another tactial squad up to attack the cannoness, who has been beating ineffectively against the dread(its immoble and no arms) She kills 3 guys, but dies to pfist. One lone Pfist serg sweeps. Commander charges the serpahim. SOTM sees no one die, we run away, leaving him wide open.
Chaplin kills nothing but someone finally figures out that you have to turn the evisorator ON, and deals 2 wounds to teh chaplin. Since ATSKNF, and him being outnumbered 4 to 1, he had to take 3 armor saves. 2 failed ones later, one dead chaplin.

Sisters, turn 6
Commander is earased, due to volume of firepower. back tactial squad erased. Pfist guy erased. Dread blownup. landspeeder destroyed.
Over on teh other flank, the srpahim are holding, but finally go down.

There's a turn 7(random turn length), and its fuzzy, but all he has left by the end is the dev squad. he conceeds.

one Dev squad with missle launchers.
2 full rhino squads. 1 full seraphim sqaud, 1 below half squad. 2 exorcists left. Rets left. 1 16 man sisters squad below half.
Solid victory for sisters.
Still not sold on evisorators. 2 attacks at WS 3 isnt great. Books ROCK. Not caring what happens and having LD 9 all the time had him in fits. So did SOTM more than DG. Yeah yeah, you have 6 attacks with a power weapon reroll hits or wounds with 2 characters. I dont care. I get a 3 or a 2+ save anyway, na na na. I think that had him in fits more than anything.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

I'm sensing a pattern here

Raw evil score: 77.78%

Didnt my last poll on my evilness come out to the same score?

Friday, March 17, 2006

Good news, bad news

Good news is, even my inlaws arent safe from my snark.

I ended up going to my inlaws for St Patrick's day dinner of corn beef and cabbage. At the table I was asked if I was going to have any and I said no. When asked what kind of person doesnt eat corn beef and cabbage on St Patty's day, the response was "An Italian with good taste."

The bad news is that I said something I shouldnt. My wife brough up the fact we have a small plumbing problem(leak in the shower from the foucet in case anyone has a clue, I've already replaced the knobs and everything), and mutter shut up when she brought it up, because frankly their all unhelpful. I didnt want it brough up because, you guessed it, they we're any help like I already knew they wouldnt be.

I'm sure I'll catch it later. Oh well.

Happy St. Patricks' day!

So says the Mrs, of irish decent. And we have to where green, says mommy to sarah. Wouldnt that be nice.

No says sarah, I want to wear pink......

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

When in doubt

Improvise. Daddy taught sarah a valuable skill. How to pee in the park when the Gorram bathrooms are closed at the park.

Sarah definately "marked" her territory today.......She thought it was great.

Thought I share that information.

Monday, March 13, 2006

So thats where my daughter gets it from

The Arch-Rival
- You Are The Arch-Rival
"I've come for what is

Your life has an objective. A goal that you have
dedicated to obtain no matter what the cost.
Regardless of what that mission is, or how
often it changes, everything around you is
focused on it and you will stop at nothing to
fulfill your destiny. Your attitude and mood
may change, but your selfish mindset is
always the same. Only a few friends stay with
you because of this and you probably have had
some trouble in the past as a result as well.
But none of that matters so long as you get
what rightfully belongs to you. Nothing will
stand in your way.

Which Classic Story Role Do You Play?
brought to you by

Sunday, March 12, 2006

What a look

Such a royal dismissive look. And only 3 years old. With an attitude that put a teenager and some adults to shame.

I'm is SUCH trouble.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

You were warned.

Like I said in an earlier entry, the real question was is the world ready for Sarah.

The answer is still no.

Sarah goes over a friends house a couple days a week for daycare, she's certified and all, and runs one occasionally.

Today she kinda had her at wits end, conspiring with her daughter with mischief.

I always have this rule of thumb, I'm sure the parents out there will echo it: if the children are quiet, find them. Immediately. Their up to something.

SO when our friend went to the bathroom, the two of them got into the cabinets, found the mini chocolate bars, and eat several.

Later, when they were quiet, she found them in the spare room. They had dragged out the cat food*dry) pile it up for the cats out of the bag, and were proceeding to pour cups of water on it(so the cats had food and water, apparently).

But wait, it gets better. She will drive her mother to an early grave. At the restraint, Sarah claims to have to go to the bathroom. However, upon arrival at the bathroom, Sarah claims no its opposite day, and she said she doesn't have to go.

Life will be an adventure, you'll see.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Looks like I have personal issues

You Are 78% Evil

You are very evil. And you're too evil to care.

Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot.

Warned you I'm not always nice.

Guess I have to work on that being a better person stuff. Didnt help when the Mrs is standing behind you asking questions such as "when did you break the law" and other odds and ends.

I blame my 2 female friends

Which one of you have been slipping sarah advice from the woman's handbook early? This morning I get, after playing some elefun game:

"Daddy, can you clean that up, I have something in my nails......" *proceeds to start cleaning her nails*

I blame you two.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

And the LAST birthday present is

Dora bike with training wheels.

The child was spoiled. By friends and family alike. I expected it from the grandparents, she is the only grandchild on one side, and only girl on the other, but even friends spoiled her. I mean we came home and the living room looked like bomb went off.....a thermonuclear santa claus bomb....

Good thing we keep her grounded so she's not one of those temper tamtrum get what you want types because of it......

Sunday, March 05, 2006

This is why

the world stands no chance vs sarah, Snark just is in her genes:

During the week, she visited her pre-school, a great program recommended by peds and teachers, a program run by high schoolers who are going into the teaching field, but overall run by Folks with degrees. And best of all free.

So she went to visit, and the teacher is talking to her, and askes about sarah to sarah, and sarah askes "Do you have a computer?"

Teachers taken aback and askes "why, do you want to learn how to use them?"

Sarah strikes a pose, sighs and responds with that exasperated little girl voice "*I* already know how to use a computer. I just wanted to know if there's one here to use."

Teacher's taken aback by teh fact that she already knows how, and the fact that sarah tells here matter of factly.

So we're over my parents last night for an early birthday party, and she had a plastic my little pony in her cake. So intead of a fork, she's using the pony to eat teh ice cream cake.

And then the snark comments start around the table, from her uncles, and grandparents:

"Look the chocolate is on the pny's butt, its pooing."

" Its a poopicle."

"The pany has diarea."

The converstaion deteriorated from there.........

Schools stand no chance. I'm getting calls every other day.

Happy Birthday kiddo, you're 3 today.....

Friday, March 03, 2006

Apparantly, thats a capital offense

Apprantly, in the woman's handbook, its a capital offense to NOT tell the woman of the house that a new store(in this case target) JUST has its grand opening under a mile from our house.

They leave.

2 minutes later the phone rings.


"WHY didnt you tell me target opened up?"

"uhm, they opened March 1st, why?"

"you bozo, I drove all the way out to middletown wensday to pick something up a the target there."

"You didnt tell me you were going to target, you said Toys R Us."

"You bozo, well were at target now."

Apparantly, Its also in the womans handbook to just not pay attention for months on end to the construction thats gone on, and how the outside construction stopped in the beginning of Febuary....or the opening in March banner, or.....


Daddy play time

Some picts of sarah as we're playing.....

Thursday, March 02, 2006

The real question isnt whether sarah is ready for the world

Its really is the world ready for sarah.

So I'm out last night killing things and blowing up tanks, and my cell phone rings. Someone lets me know,as I've put it down elsewhere and I go and answer it, thinking its the Mrs.


"Hi daddy. Guess what?"

"What sweetheart?"

"I'm a Brat!"


"Yup, and mommy took me to the wrong mall."

I see.

"And I took my socks and shoes off"

And then the next thing I hear is "hey, how'd you get the phone....."

Needless to say, Its not whether I have to get sarah ready for te world, its rather is the world ready for sarah.