The Man Rules.
I figured I help all you ladies out a bit.....:D
--------------------------------------------------
The Man Rules******************* At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story.( I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear " the rules"
From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.We need it up, you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports
It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.(Erin, that one is for you)
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.. Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or sex.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape.
Pear IS a shape!
Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping
--------------------------------------------------
The Man Rules******************* At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story.( I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear " the rules"
From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.We need it up, you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports
It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.(Erin, that one is for you)
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.. Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or sex.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape.
Pear IS a shape!
Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping
posted by at 10:57 PM
19 Comments:
OMG! Have you been talking to my husband!!????
You and agree on #1!!
Uh, the DVR is great so we can talk during any TV show... just rewind.... and then you can even skip the commercials...
trust me... Mike is constantly having to rewind .. I'm always yakking at him when he's watching 24 or The Office or The Unit...
or Glenn Beck....
hee hee..
you men...
have you seen "The Man Song??"
You and HE agree w/ #1
That's what I meant to say.
ROFL! That was great! I should e-mail it to my wife.
Ha friggin ha! All I can say to that is ... sit down on the loo with the seat up mate..... see how quick you swear!!!! Nice list..... funny ha ha. Heading off to have a few drinkies with my blogger girlfriends, who won't leave the seat UP ... unless they are secretly hiding some equipment!!!
Very Funny, Carmachu!!! I could relate a little too closely to some of those.
Why am I NOT surprised that you posted this?
It is funny, though!
Thanks for the insight!
I absolutely love this. Scott will to.
So what is the news on the bambino Carmie junior?
I've seen this list before but it was definitely worth reading again.
Enjoy the couch!
Terry and I were quoting rules to each other all day today! we really enjoyed the list!
Oh, and for Chris H, I have had to use plenty of porcelain bowls with no seats during my years in Uruguay. I got over it. ;)
Oi David.... bully for you, you ain't got a pretty girly bum eh????? I HAVE.
Whew! I am glad I don't have a girl's bum! Imagine the problems I'd get at work!
These are funny. Don't send them to my hubby though!
Oi Mr Choo, I've been reading ya wife's blog.... are you a bugger or what???? Give the poor girl a break...she TOLD YA ABOUT DEM TYRES already already.... friggin men!!! I'm gunna send HER chocolates...
I love this. My husband REALLY loves this!!! =)
I found this post amusing.
Some of these are workable...others are a lack of sensativity. Men need to get more of it.
So do you agree with all of these, or does the COUCH just appeal to you???
I enjoyed most of the post. Thanks
I came over via another blog.
Welcome meow....
I agree with a good chunk. Especially the toliet one. I mean, you are an adult and can put the seat down(well except you....you use the litter box...:D)
*eh hem*
I was reading your wifey's blog too ...
sounds like you're being a stinker.
Spoil your wife ... especially when she's with child and not feeling up to par.
Chocolates are also good, like Chris said.
OK, this is for the toilet seat rule. Especially if you have young kids or pets. KEEP IT SHUT!!!
Both of you can lift a toilet seat. Additional benifts you don't have to worry about the pets drinking out of it, and it cuts down on the smell.
This is great!! Of course, I won't be sharing it with the man of my house, but it's still great :)
Post a Comment
<< Home