Tuesday, June 27, 2006

A public service to you lady bloggers out there

On how to understand men:


Because I'm a man,
when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in.
Calling road assistance is not an option. I will win, even if it may mean destroying the door or window in the process.

_________________________________________
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at.
If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and
everything, I wouldn't even know where to start.
We will then drink a couple of beverages and curse at the machine as a form of holy communion.

_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man,
when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan.
You're a woman.
You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this should be no problem.

_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man,
I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread.
I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "paprika" or "tofu."
For all I know, these are the same thing.

_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man,
when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it
apart, despite evidence that this will just cost
me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

__________________________________________________ _
Because I'm a man,
I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV.
If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for
it.... though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.....(applies to engineers mainly).

__________________________________________________ _____
Because I'm a man,
there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about.
The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex, or sex.
I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.

_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man,
I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay;
I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my
mother, too.
_______________________________________________

Because I'm a man,
you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.
Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't....and if you are feeling amorous afterwards..... then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.

_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man,
I think what you're wearing is fine.
I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too.
Either pair of shoes is fine.
With the belt or without it, looks fine.
Your hair is fine.
You look fine.
Can we just go now?

_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man,
and this is, after all, the year 2006, I will share equally in the
housework.
You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest.......
....... like wandering around in the garden with a beer, wondering what to do.

______________________________________________
This has been a public service message for women to better understand
men.......

17 Comments:

Blogger 34quinn said...

*shaking head and rolling eyes*@you

3:16 PM, June 27, 2006  
Blogger carmachu said...

Oh you just doing it 'cause you know its true....

3:28 PM, June 27, 2006  
Blogger Nikki said...

ROFLMAO

Carm that was funny as hell!

Does Kim know you put this up?

I'm laying money that she will or has hit you for posting it. LOL

4:53 PM, June 27, 2006  
Blogger carmachu said...

Not yet nikki, she works tonight till 8pm. Most likely she just say "yup thats you" on most of them....

5:05 PM, June 27, 2006  
Blogger Lady G said...

You know us lady bloggers didn't need your list. We already KNEW those things. But as women, we know when to let a man babble so he feels like he's important.

9:24 PM, June 27, 2006  
Blogger 34quinn said...

^5 lol ladyg ,
That was pretty much along the lines I was wanting to say but didn't know how to...so I ended up just * shaking my head and rolling my eyes* lol...
too funny ...

10:37 PM, June 27, 2006  
Blogger carmachu said...

And yet you all come and comment anyway LG.....*grin*

As my father always said "boys gotta wrestle, girls gotta talk"

10:51 PM, June 27, 2006  
Blogger Litzi said...

Hi Carmachu,
lol…..This is such a GREAT post. And I’m sure none of it’s how you see the “male” role in a relationship. This was merely to entertain us all, correct?

A little secret; women are on to all the posing and posturing men do and have learned to accept and tolerate their behavior for the sake of peace and tranquility on the home front. Don’t think we can’t see through all the charades and facades you erect in a vain attempt to prove your superiority. We all know who’s really THE BOSS, don’t we??

Thanks for all the laughs!!

1:26 AM, June 28, 2006  
Blogger carmachu said...

Correct miss litzi.....well except, maybe, of what I'm thinking abouty part....*grin*

8:27 AM, June 28, 2006  
Blogger carmachu said...

"We all know who’s really THE BOSS, don’t we??"

The children?

8:28 AM, June 28, 2006  
Blogger Litzi said...

Hi carmachu,
The children and/or any pets are generally THE BOSS of the family. Come on! Your post was tongue in cheek, wasn’t it? You’re telling me that those “man” thoughts were what goes through a guy’s mind in certain instances? Perhaps men are more complex that I’ve given them credit for. Hmmm. And I thought women were the mysterious ones!

Thanks for totally screwing up my perceptions about the sexes!

11:26 AM, June 28, 2006  
Blogger carmachu said...

Your welcome!

12:36 PM, June 28, 2006  
Blogger happykat said...

((rolls eyes and blows rasberries))

12:45 PM, June 28, 2006  
Blogger Lady G said...

Murphy rules my house.

12:56 PM, June 28, 2006  
Blogger carmachu said...

speaking of murphy, has he humped anything new that you've had to clean up after?

*grin*

3:43 PM, June 28, 2006  
Blogger Attila the Mom said...

I can't stop laughing...

Very very funny!

10:20 AM, July 01, 2006  
Blogger Flawed And Disorderly said...

ahaha! Could be the truest thing I've ever read.

10:13 PM, July 22, 2006  

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