Sunday, April 30, 2006

And now for something completely different

My lilac tree. Ahhh the smell of fresh lilacs in the morning. In the background you can see the Mrs two new snowball plants. Later this summer when my snowball bush is in full bloom, You'll see a very pretty one going on 3 years, and growing bigger and bigger.....

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Ok, this is getting ridiculous

Look folks, I know Sarah is special. I know she's cuteness walking. I know she's smart, but really, was this really a necessary reminder?

Any of you parents, has this happened to you?

We're driving to the my wife's parents house for her mother's birthday. We are on the off ramp, sitting at the light, when there's a man next to us in a truck. And he's waving. So we roll down the window thinking someone in the car knows him.

No. Neither I, nor the Mrs, nor our friend, know him.

No, he wants to say hello to Sarah, and play with her. And comment on how beautiful she is. And again, play with her FROM ANOTHER VEHICLE!

Come on now, do I have to buy a gun or something here....This isn't the first time people have stopped and commented on Sarah, but really, waving from another vehicle to talk and play with her on an off ramp?

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Proud Daddy.

Outings with daddy and Sarah are ALWAYS an adventure, because generally one or the other will do something amusing.

So we pull into the McDonald's parking lot. I pick Sarah up, because its kind of a bad lot, and as we walk to the door, coming across is idiot parent. I say Idiot parent, because he turns around(because he isn't holding hands) and says(to 2 cute girls say 4 and 6) YOU two need to look both ways, just because daddy did don't mean its safe.

I shake my head, but Sarah(doing me proud) turns over my shoulder and YELLS in that 3 year old loud voice "You need to hold their hands!"

Score one for the home team........

I couldn't have been prouder of the little tyke.

Of course later on, not even I am immune. Helping her in the potty to poop, Sarah says "daddy your a poop head." I hear giggles outside the door. Of course daddy's response is "you do know little girl, that if I'm the poop head, your a little baby poop. The daughter of poophead. The little Sh#T(ok I didn't say the last one....).

Sadly, the fun ended later on, when Sarah says "daddy, I'm getting big. I'm growing up so fast."

Truer words were never spoken...

I blame you Missy

Driving home, we passed a strip mall and Sarah asked what the store was.

I told her it was a tattoo parlor. She now INSISTS that she HAS to have a permanent tattoo. At three.

So whether it was the cowgirl hat, or the stuffed animals, I blame you LG......

Monday, April 24, 2006

Words of Wisdom

From a three year old, to her mother:

"Mommy, boogers don't smell...."

Sunday, April 23, 2006

My child is crazy

I'm not kidding. Every see a road runner cartoon? She's bouncing off the walls and running around like a nutcase. Even the woman who gave birth to her wants to sell her to the circus.......

I love her, but she's going to get strangled shortly. I'd even get off by law, its self defense at this point.

Thought I share....

Friday, April 21, 2006

Apparently I am super parent

I'm standing in line at Walmart, buying some items, and there is a family in front of me, mom, dad, and a cute little girl couldn't have been older than 3 at the most.

The little one wanted something from the check out line. First she askes daddy who says no. Then she askes mommy, who says no. THEN she looks around her mother directly at me and askes, "may I please have it?"

My reponse of course, smiling was "no sweet heart, you cant have that. I don't get a vote in the matter."

All the adults got a chuckle out of her trying to get SOME adult to get her her way.

The Carnival is in town!

And of course we have to go. Its a moral imperative in this family. Stems back from when I was a child, and a time my parents didnt have alot of money, but there was always money to go to teh carnival. My father never let us miss one, and it rubs off on me, so sarah never misses one......

This time, Uncle Joe(31) and Uncle Nick(15) came with us, so not only do we have family fun, we have uncle fun for sarah, and of course brotherly competitin between the oldest brothers.

Uncle Joe won the first round of water guns, and sarahg of course got the large prize. Out of all the animals(including elmo, carebears), SHE wanted the giant cobra snake thats black and flame color. We asked her again to make sure, and yes thats what she wanted. The operator got the taste of the sarah snark as he bent down asking "are you sure thats what....." and stopped talking mid-sentence and turns to us and replies to the adults "shes giving me a look of thats what I want, stop asking stpuid question."

All us got a laugh at that one.

Sarah went into the fun hous literally 25 times(we had wrist bands, cheaper than tickets). That was her favorite, She also rode the small roller coaster a bunch, the whip it cars a couple , and she rode with daddy and uncles in the spinner, yelling all the while "spin the car faster" so we were the only ones on a kiddy ride that had the car spinning like a top as you had 2 uncles and daddy making it go as fast as it could.

Daddy rallied later to beat Uncle Joe both at the BB gun star shoot and the water gun race....gaining Sarah a big fluffy duck and a big turtle for mommy....

Good times had by all.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Teaching children the important things in life

Sarah's first water balloon. She likes throwing them. Especially at passing strangers.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Ah, the joys of parenthood

Is in tricking your children. 'cause they dont know better.

While doing dishes, sarah comes in and askes "what CD areyou putting in?"

Daddy's reply is "Cinderella dear"

"Oh cinderella, I love cinderella, can I listen?"

daddy smiles "sure dear"

Music starts.

"Hey, this isnt Cinderella. Where are the Princesses?

"I never said this was the princesses one sweetpea"

"You tricked me." and stomps off in a huff....

Friday, April 14, 2006

Children are honest

Children are so honest. Like today:

Mommy is trying to get sarah in her carseat so we can go out. Sarah doesnt want to. After a struggle, mommy says "sarah, if you dont get in the carseat, we can go back inside, mommy's tired and could lie down instead."

Sarah's response is "Ok mommy, I was just being difficult."

So we're sitting around the table at the resturant, the Mrs askes me "are you ok? You dont look good." My response is "I'm just a bit tired". We ask sarah how she is, and her response was "I'm just feeling a little naughty."

Thursday, April 13, 2006


On a certain other forum, there was a poll about your gas-fu.

Mine is legendary.

Last night in a large room with 11 other wargamers, I managed to clear the room after letting one rip. They came back with shirts over their face and some cans of air fresher.

When I told the Mrs the story, she asked why they didnt throw me out. My response was they couldnt get near me after letting loose. Of course I was also told that if I let one loose in bed that night, I was sleeping on the I guess there are limits.....

Drama Queen and Star attraction

Sarah has the drama queen act down pat. Luckily, daddy doesnt fall for it, but other people(read suckers) do.

Sarah and I were at Wal-Mart, getting a few items for a sick mommy. Sarah sees the cookies out front, and says "I want some cookies"

Daddy's reply is of course "No. Sorry you cant have any, you dont get a vote on it."

Sarah, big drama sigh, "I dont get a vote, oh no." then procceds to hold her face in her hands and start crying.

Daddy's response is of course "Oh stop, thats such a fake cry and you know it."

sarah of course stops crying, and says "Ooookk daddy. Oh look flowers."

Mommy and aunt took sarah to the bronx zoo yesterday. On the way home, at Grand central station, at 5-6pm rush hour, mommy is holding sarah's hand, and sarah keeps stopping and starting. Mommy turns and looks at why sarah is starting and stopping.

Turns out sarah was doing her ballet for a not so small crowd of New Yorkers who had stopped what their doing and mommy hear's replies of "oh she's so cute, oh thats so adorable. Oh thats so precious"

Probably got applauds for all I know.

You're all doomed when she gets to school age......

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Oh Vey

Things you dont really want heard while you havea 3 year old in a men's stall in public:

"Daddy you have a BIG snake. I like big snakes. Can I play with snakes..."

And so that loud 3 year old voice that echos in a bathroom. Other variations invole little snakes or other odds and ends.....

Thursday, April 06, 2006


Nothing more needs to be said.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

I mentioned Sarah was smart, right?

Again, I will reiterate: too smart for her own good.

Kim calls and says, call the house and listen to what your child has done on the answering machine. So I do:

she's sung the ittsy bittsy spider song, then leaves off with leave a message, bye, bye.

Of course, the kicker:

Kim caught her doing it BY HERSELF, and peeked into the living room, having figured out how to leave a message and have it saved, by herself. She did it 4 times until she got the message the way she wanted it while no one was looking.

We're SO in trouble. First she knows how to run the computer by herself, and the DVD player, now the answering machine. Soon she'll be able to do any device and real trouble begins.

Did I mention she's only 3 and one month? Why am I scared here?

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Fun with an uncle